Frans's Underbite

Okay-so the last month I've taken Owen, Haylee and Frans all to the orthodontist. This Dr. Ostler's place seems to be the happening place. We always see someone there that we know...yesterday we saw Austin Ashton. He was cute...I couldn't remember his name and I said hey you look familar. He says "Me?" I say "what's your name?" "Austin" "Yeah thats right your dad is my cousin." Yes the orthodontist is the place to see and be seen appparently. Now why don't I have ortho Insurance??? Apparently both Haylee and Owen may need braces but probably not until 7th grade. Frans on the other hand has a underbite and they want to try and put him in head gear and a metal thing in his mouth...if I think he can handle it without too much anxiety--yeah right! We don't know what we are going to do yet. This 50% chance working head gear is only going to cost $2100 and that is only for stage one...if it works. Yeah we have to think about this. I am personally most worried about Frans's anxiety---of course this would happen to the kid that is so scared of everything.

The Phantom Urinater Revealed!

Well, we have solved the mystery of the Phantom Urinater. On Saturday night (or maybe Sunday) Mike walked into the laundry room and started shouting. I came running in to see a Tupperware container filled with pee—GROSS! We immediately call Owen and Frans back to the room and start an investigation. Owen was very, very sure he didn’t do it—so he claimed. Frans was all denial too. What are parents to do when they know one of these boys did it but can’t be sure who? Mike asks Frans, “What is that?” “I don’t know.”
“Well, should you drink it?”
“No.”
“Why not?”
“It’s yellow.” Frans is starting to move from side to side—suspicious!“Did you pee in here?” The truth begins to come forth as Frans shrugs his shoulders. Being the extremely paitent and loving mother that I am say, “Oh, just spank the truth out of the both of them! And when you find out who did this boy are they going to get it!” I then turn to Frans and Owen and speak strongly (never yell-right?), “This is your only chance to tell the truth and then…” Well, I am not sure if it was my threats or Mike’s kindness or maybe a bit of both but Frans said, “Okay! I did it!!” Ahhh finally the truth revealed! He was the one that did it all…pee in the shoe, the onion bucket (good thing we figured it out before we used any onions), by the front door, and on the floor in several different locations. Why did he do it? Apparently, Frans is afraid of the spiders in his bathroom so he just went where he felt like it. Mike was so livid that he told Frans that from now on he will kill any spider we find with his bare hand or foot. We are still trying to figure out his other punishment for not telling the truth right away. Poor Owen was given most of the blame up until then—we thought he was sleepwalking and doing it. We had made Owen clean the laundry room more than once because we thought it was him. I hope this is the end of the pee everywhere. Hand sanitizer anyone???

Praying the Smell Subsides Soon!

We have had a problem with spiders in our house…and I mean really big spiders (about the size of a half dollar). Someone tells me that spiders don’t like moth balls. Thinking that I am just brilliant I get a box of moth balls. I bring it home and decide to put them around our laundry room…trial run right. Of course being brilliant that I am I put on rubber gloves and begin the project. That someone forgot to mention that the first smell is enough to drop you dead on the spot. After some choking and gagging I get the job done. Then I think…maybe I should read the box. I am not sure if it was the 10 different warnings about death or the thought that my kids might think these are candy (probably both) I suddenly didn’t think this was such a good idea. Then I get to the part about handling with extreme caution and being careful not to inhale the fumes…why am I putting this in my house? I guess it’s because the half-dollar size spider, that just crawled over the moth ball, doesn’t like moth balls. Needless to say I started to feel extremely nauseous and woozy so I begin the task of getting all the balls out of the house. By the way this is all at 10:00 at night. I get it done and my clothes smell so bad that I have to immediately put them into the washing machine. Then I go into my room sit in my chair and the ac kicks on and immediately there is moth ball smell infiltrating our room…the ac unit is in the laundry. Needless to say I got extremely ill—puking and all that. Now we have a moth ball smelly house, and a spider crawling on me in the bath tub—no lie, and its been three days…I’m praying the smell subsides soon.

Praying the Smell Subsides Soon!

We have had a problem with spiders in our house…and I mean really big spiders (about the size of a half dollar). Someone tells me that spiders don’t like moth balls. Thinking that I am just brilliant I get a box of moth balls. I bring it home and decide to put them around our laundry room…trial run right. Of course being brilliant that I am I put on rubber gloves and begin the project. That someone forgot to mention that the first smell is enough to drop you dead on the spot. After some choking and gagging I get the job done. Then I think…maybe I should read the box. I am not sure if it was the 10 different warnings about death or the thought that my kids might think these are candy (probably both) I suddenly didn’t think this was such a good idea. Then I get to the part about handling with extreme caution and being careful not to inhale the fumes…why am I putting this in my house? I guess it’s because the half-dollar size spider, that just crawled over the moth ball, doesn’t like moth balls. Needless to say I started to feel extremely nauseous and woozy so I begin the task of getting all the balls out of the house. By the way this is all at 10:00 at night. I get it done and my clothes smell so bad that I have to immediately put them into the washing machine. Then I go into my room sit in my chair and the ac kicks on and immediately there is moth ball smell infiltrating our room…the ac unit is in the laundry. Needless to say I got extremely ill—puking and all that. Now we have a moth ball smelly house, and a spider crawling on me in the bath tub—no lie, and its been three days…I’m praying the smell subsides soon.

The Phantom of the Opera

Haylee got to go to the POTO in Portland and see it live on the stage. She loved it. She is constantly asking if we get to do it again. I tell her that maybe we will next year. She had lots of fun with her cousins Clarissa and Abby. It wasn't quite so much fun for me as Jax cried most the time. I did get to watch it on the closed circuit tv in the lobby. Haylee also still remembers the Lion King in Australia. She really wants to take her friend Summer to see it. I think maybe that would be a good 12th Birthday--instead of a party? Maybe I'm dreaming. We will see.

The Phantom Urinater

Do you ever wake up in the morning walk through the kitchen or bathroom step in a puddle of water and think...I wonder who spilt water? Well, I am here to tell you that it may not be water--it might be pee. Yes, I live in a house where children are afraid of spiders and will not use their bathroom because there could be a spider in there. Mike has caught Owen a time or two peeing in the trash can in the middle of the night. We think he sleep walks. Well lately we have been having these puddles appear in places. The other night Haylee was at a football game with her friend and it was getting late so I turned the light on in the front entry for her. By the time she came home there was a puddle of pee in the front entry way...Mike didn't see who and neither did I. We don't know if its Owen or Frans...pretty sure its a boy...if you know what I mean. We have decided that maybe we should use the motion dector Owen got in his spy kit (from Christmas last year) so we will know when they leave their room and we can catch them. We have been a little preoccupied and haven't moved on it yet but some day we will catch the PHANTOM URINATER!

Super Hero Strength and a Bread Tray

I know he looks so innocent saying his prays but what you don't hear is that he is saying..."help me be strong and be able to beat up..." Okay maybe those aren't his exact words but Frans has been blessed with strength. On Sunday we are at church and just before the sacrament is being passed Frans whispers to me, "I want to pass the thing." I nod my head or something like that as I am trying to get Mikaydi out from under my skirt. Its amazing that the people sitting down the bench from us didn't get a terrible view (I mean terrible, have you seen my thighs). Of course I know that they didn't get a view because I am sure there would have been vomiting going on. Of course they may have been distracted by Molly who had suddenly become an gymnast and decided she can stand on her head...someone should tell her not to do that in a dress. Back to the sacrament so I get the girls under control and then the bread tray comes down the row. It reaches Frans and he grabs it and I reach over to help him and to move it passed me on to Haylee. Frans has apparently been taking lessons on how to shovel bread at break neck speed into his mouth. Oh, he did it with such expertise that I was amazed. Of, course as I tried nicely to take the tray and move it on he used his super human strength to hold on...I swear the kid has super powers. I pulled harder to no avail...all the while he is shoveling bread into his mouth with an amazing amount of ability. Me not realizing that Frans has super strength keeps pulling on the tray--hoping he won't suddenly let go and the tray go flying back three rows. Finally after a carefully placed pinch...the tray moved on. I think there were a few pieces of bread left--I am not sure as I used my advantage and quickly got the tray out of there. Frans has already mastered skills that many young men need to learn in order to be good deacons. He can out wrestle any unruly kid that doesn't want to pass the tray on and he'll be sure to clean up an spilt bread.