Volunteer Work

I went to do some volunteer work at the school today. I am helping out with the yearly spelling bee--yeah (and I mean that with sarcasium dripping from every pore of my body). I have to make copies of the spelling list for every class from 1st to 6th grades. My first problem was trying to figure out the copy machine. Did you know the fancy copy machines they have now days is basically a computer that spits out paper...normally I don't have problems with computers. Apparently I need to take a class called 'running the copy machine' because I had bells ringing paper jamming and all sorts of things going on that shouldn't have been going on--if you know what I mean. I suppose it didn't help that Mikaydi was trying to hang on to the end of the copier--I count myself fortunate that the paper tray bends and doesn't shatter. Finally, I get a teacher to help me run the thing and everything seems like its going great. I am on a roll...then I hear a crash behind me---"oh, yeah I have kids with me" I think. I turn around to see that Molly and Mikaydi have emptied one of the cupboard's in the teacher's lounge...it only contained glass vases. Seeing that Molly was about to drop one of the vases--it couldn't have been because I shrieked at her...she should be used to that by now, right? I make a diving catch of the glass vase--who would of known that I would use my softball training as a mother of five? Luckily we escaped any tragic broken glass. I give the girls a stern talking to then get back to the evil--I mean nice copy machine. After about two grades done a lady comes into the room to make copies...I ask her if she has a lot to do and she say's yes. I look at Molly and Mikaydi who are shaking the candy dispenser to see if they can get any candy out, I say to the lady, "I will try to hurry." She waits and watches as I have to now pry Molly's hand out of the bottom of the candy dispenser (she thought she could reach some) and then huffs out of the room a few minutes later. I don't know what we could of done to hurry faster, I took care of the girls while the copier was running. It might of been that Mikaydi was sucking on the end of a highlighter--who knows. I just hope they didn't ruin her pants with the black sharpie. I finally get done with the copies...then realize I have to sort them out into the individual classes. As I am doing this a lady comes in and after about five minutes says, "Did you know we have parenting classes at the school? You should come its at 3pm." I says something like thanks I'll think about it. One question...why have parenting classes at 3? Shouldn't people actually be at home with their kids and parent? I suppose she thought I could use some help. Lady you have no idea what I go through. After I finish dividing all the papers into classes I breath a sigh of relief...I'm done! Oh, yeah I have kids here...I turn to discover the lounge in shambles. Paper is strewn everywhere, Mikaydi has taken all the marker lids off--thank heaven she didn't draw on the walls or floor. Molly has found the popcorn machine (do you hear the dramatic jaws music--if you don't you should) she has gotten down all the oils and things I don't even know what they are or how they go to the machine but apparently they do. I almost cried...but I forged on did my duty and cleaned it all up. I guess these are the reasons that when I show up to the school everyone looks at me and says, "Mrs. Hokanson....I see...you have brought your...ah...children. Will you be...staying....ah don't touch that...long today?"