Monday, December 31, 2007

I was out working in my shop today pondering polotices ,perticulerly global worming . It struck me after listening to all the crap liberals say about our curent President i.e. He was selected not elected ect. ect.ect. Well what does Al Gore have to complain about really since he lost the election he has single handedly saved the entire world from ourselves and has the award to prove it. He has given the left wing ingniopods there next cause which can easily be solved by ceaseing to exist yes if we all became extremely selfish and quit having children and only indulged in all natural ,organic, recycled, hallogen fun in only a century we could solve the global worming problem the pollution problem the endangered species problem OH! wait humans are a speicies and our extinction although the only apparent solution it is also a problem-Crap basicaly we are all up crap creek but not really because even crap creek has an endangerd fish in it these days so I recen im just going to keep poppin out kids and driving my big SUV and eating my geneticly altered super foods and guess what I AM HAPPY so leave me alone.

Monday, November 5, 2007

Volunteer Work

I went to do some volunteer work at the school today. I am helping out with the yearly spelling bee--yeah (and I mean that with sarcasium dripping from every pore of my body). I have to make copies of the spelling list for every class from 1st to 6th grades. My first problem was trying to figure out the copy machine. Did you know the fancy copy machines they have now days is basically a computer that spits out paper...normally I don't have problems with computers. Apparently I need to take a class called 'running the copy machine' because I had bells ringing paper jamming and all sorts of things going on that shouldn't have been going on--if you know what I mean. I suppose it didn't help that Mikaydi was trying to hang on to the end of the copier--I count myself fortunate that the paper tray bends and doesn't shatter. Finally, I get a teacher to help me run the thing and everything seems like its going great. I am on a roll...then I hear a crash behind me---"oh, yeah I have kids with me" I think. I turn around to see that Molly and Mikaydi have emptied one of the cupboard's in the teacher's only contained glass vases. Seeing that Molly was about to drop one of the vases--it couldn't have been because I shrieked at her...she should be used to that by now, right? I make a diving catch of the glass vase--who would of known that I would use my softball training as a mother of five? Luckily we escaped any tragic broken glass. I give the girls a stern talking to then get back to the evil--I mean nice copy machine. After about two grades done a lady comes into the room to make copies...I ask her if she has a lot to do and she say's yes. I look at Molly and Mikaydi who are shaking the candy dispenser to see if they can get any candy out, I say to the lady, "I will try to hurry." She waits and watches as I have to now pry Molly's hand out of the bottom of the candy dispenser (she thought she could reach some) and then huffs out of the room a few minutes later. I don't know what we could of done to hurry faster, I took care of the girls while the copier was running. It might of been that Mikaydi was sucking on the end of a highlighter--who knows. I just hope they didn't ruin her pants with the black sharpie. I finally get done with the copies...then realize I have to sort them out into the individual classes. As I am doing this a lady comes in and after about five minutes says, "Did you know we have parenting classes at the school? You should come its at 3pm." I says something like thanks I'll think about it. One question...why have parenting classes at 3? Shouldn't people actually be at home with their kids and parent? I suppose she thought I could use some help. Lady you have no idea what I go through. After I finish dividing all the papers into classes I breath a sigh of relief...I'm done! Oh, yeah I have kids here...I turn to discover the lounge in shambles. Paper is strewn everywhere, Mikaydi has taken all the marker lids off--thank heaven she didn't draw on the walls or floor. Molly has found the popcorn machine (do you hear the dramatic jaws music--if you don't you should) she has gotten down all the oils and things I don't even know what they are or how they go to the machine but apparently they do. I almost cried...but I forged on did my duty and cleaned it all up. I guess these are the reasons that when I show up to the school everyone looks at me and says, "Mrs. Hokanson....I have brought your...ah...children. Will you be...staying....ah don't touch that...long today?"

Tuesday, October 23, 2007


Okay so I have to just say "Gossip sucks!" People (women mostly) get sucked into these conversations with people and the next thing you know you are either gossiping or listening to the gossip thinking..."YOUR KIDDING!" The problem is the damage that can happen when people aren't careful about what they say. How many of you out there listen to someone talking about someone else and think, "Gee I wonder what they say about me behind my back?" Yes, I have been there and thought those things. I can't say I am perfect--I am sure I listen a little too much and therefore I am guilty. I occasionally listen to Dr. Laura and some of the things she says makes perfect sense. She tells us that we need to rid ourselves of poisionious relationships. I have to say that gossip relationships are probably the most poisionious of all. The damage that is done when someone ASSUMES something is irreverisble and then to top it off they go and tell someone else about what they have ASSUMED! When in all reality there is no truth to it. I am here to tell you today that I will not partake in these damaging relationships anymore. Whether it be family, friend or foe if you want to be around me, be invited to my home, be my friend know this: I will not be around this kind of damaging behavior. If you partake in this I will not be around you. That is all I have to say today!!!

You're Never Too Old To Learn From Your Mother

Okay so I was talking to Mike and he told me the following story and I love the lesson we learn from this. My mother-in-law, Karlee, was doing some family history stuff for her mother. Karlee is like in her mid-60's and her mother is in her late 80's. Karlee was working on copying her mother's book of rememberance (or something like that). Well Karlee being as active as she is accidently misplaces part of the book. Instead of immediately telling her mother she goes and looks here and there trying to find it. After a couple of days of extreme worry and near heart failure she decides that she must go and confess what has happened to her mother. With a sinking heart and the weight of keen disappointment on her shoulders she finally tells her mother that she is terribly sorry but has lost this book. Her mother says, "No you didn't." Karlee thinking that her mother is old and not understanding, tries to explain what has happened. Then her mother tells her, "No you didn't lose it, its right over here." Karlee finds out that the book had slipped behind the computer and her mother had found it. Karlee spent all that time feeling sick about this mistake that really hadn't happened. If she would of just come right to her mother and told her what she'd thought had happened she could of avoided days of worry and heartache! It just goes to show us that we are never to old to learn from our mothers. So the next time you look in the mirror or say a key phrase and you think, "I am turning into my mother!" Maybe its really not such a bad thing, after all your mother raised and made you who you are today!

Monday, October 8, 2007

she is perfect

hey this is the fart mister the bester of shrek the releaser of toxic fummmes and the bad speller i figured i better read the things my wife has been writing about me interesting! well what can i say about her as you may know she is perfect i cant think of a singel flaw becouse if i did she has got some kind of radar that instantly gose off then your cought no trapped is a better word for it forget about trying to lie your way out of it so i,ve learned over the past ten years to always tell the truth example me hey dear whats wrong with your eye wife what do you mean! me in my mind i think( o crap i steped in it up to my nostrils and am about to suficate )but i say o its nothing wife no realy what do you mean! me fear surges through me im not good with fear so i freeze and in an atemp to try to squeeze out of the situation i say you got same kind of a spock thing going on ( did i realy say that the pile o crap i steped in must have clouded my judgmet wife what!! its hope less by this piont eny explination eny bribery not even pritty stinky flowers will save me. no thats not what i ment your eyebrowes dont point up i just never noticed one of your eyes is lower then the other wife what!!!! ok truth is im not that bright can you tell eny way putting the rest of the night ion the line i go all out with the truth o it must of just been a smug on the mirror when you look right at me you look just fine

Seattle Freaks

Okay no offense to anyone that lives in Seattle but there are some real freaks over there. I went with my friends to Seattle for the weekend and had a blast. The only thing that really over shadowed anything was the weird political freaks on the street corners. On one corner this man was asking everyone if they cared at all--I almost stopped and said "Yeah, I do and quite frankly your the problem!" Of course then I am sure I would have been flogged by the masses as my political views in no way matches probably anyone in King County. Oh, and by the way if you are ever going to sit outside a restaurant and beg for food and money then maybe you should: 1. Leave your pet at home or where ever--if you are starving eat the animal or better yet sell it for some food money 2. Don't sit their with your full pack of cigarettes and smoke all night long--kick the habit use the money for food 3. You might want to put the food you are eating away for later--you don't look like your starving when your poping food in your mouth every five minutes. 4. Maybe you should take out the diamond stud nose peircing and 5. Maybe you shouldn't wear next to new nike shoes! I mean really I don't have anything against the homeless but I am not going to help someone that is doing the above. Other than some of the freaky people it was a great trip. I went to this restaurant called "The Melting Pot" and it was awesome. It's a fondue food place. We had to pick a cheese, pick sauce to cook our meats and then pick our chocolate. I thought I died and went to heaven. I also really enjoyed a food tour that we went on called Savor Seattle. Of course I don't like fish but I tried to be a good sport and ate some salmon...wanted to puke but held it together. However, they had enough other things that it was well worth it to me. We went to a wine tasting place and they were very respectful of the fact that I do not drink alcohol and instead they put out a 100% concord grape juice and apple juice--it was very tasty. It was just a fun experience. Oh, yeah and I also went to the Science Center--I had forgotten how fun that could be. I want to take my kids there instead of getting them christmas presents. Well, maybe we'll go to the dollar store and get a few cheap gifts so they have something to open on Christmas day. I just think that would be fun. I guess I'll just have to explain to my kids about the Seattle Freaks before we go!

Tuesday, October 2, 2007

Father's and Sons

These are pictures that Owen and Frans took of each other and their dad in June. They went to father's and sons campout and had a blast. I think both Frans and Owen did a great job on taking pictures. Maybe one of them will have a career in photography. Who knows? Well I have to say that they have a lot of fun camping and I guess its a good time for them to bond. I know that me and the girls have fun at home doing girl things like painting finger nails and such while they are gone.


Mikaydi is our 20 month old baby. She is a lot of fun right now as she is starting to talk. Daddy always likes to teach her things she shouldn't say--fortunately she hasn't picked up on any of those words--yet. She is really into following the other kids around and tries to do what they do. Molly getting potty trained taught her to say, "good girl" any time anyone is on the toilet and she sees. Lately though her favorite word is "ewww". So she steps in something its "ewwww", she gets something on her hand its "ewww", she poops her pants its "ewww". She says it in the most funny situations too. Dad lets one rip its "ewww", and boy oh boy we all echo Mikaydi's words there. Someone burps its the same. Its funny because its almost like she is prim and proper with her "ewww" and yet she has no problem throwing anything and everything into the toilet and then picking it back out. About a week ago I actually about threw up when she took something out of the toilet and put it to her mouth. I washed her mouth out with soap and said, "ewwww gross!" Then the next couple of days she spent walking into the bathroom looking at the toilet and saying, "ewwww". Maybe with any luck she is done being a toilet player.

A True Dinning Experience

Here's a picture of our five little kiddy kats! Now picture taking all five out to dinner and not at McDonalds. Everyone once in awhile my husband and I decide that we should take our children to a nicer place to eat. We tell ourselves its because they need to learn to handle themselves somewhere besides McDonalds or Burger King. I personally think it's because Mike, husband, doesn't like McDonalds and want's something else. Last Friday we decided to take them to a pizza buffet. We get there and I run in to check prices before allowing the kids to get out of the car. We decide its reasonable enough as the youngest two are free--HURRAH!Before we go in Mike tells them, "No running, no jumping around, you can't go get your food yourself..." I tune half of it out as I think--yeah, right. I glance back at the kids and see their glazed over expressions and realize that they too don't have a clue as to what he has said or they hear...blah blah blah. Kind of like Charlie Brown listening to his teacher. After Mike's sermon on how we all should act...including me (I need to help the kids...we can't let them run...don't let them crawl over the bench...) and I wonder "he must think that I don't help him at all." Its not like I don't take the kids everywhere I name they are with me 24-7. Bless his heart for being nieve enough to think that the kids will actually listen to him and not go beserk as soon as they enter the restaraunt. Anyway we go into the pizza place and discover soon after we pay that they have an arcade type place in back...strike one. Then looking around we find a booth large enough for our brood and sit there. I barely noticed the nice looking couple (I think the guy was prettier than the gal) on a date right behind us...strike two. I also take a minute to notice the flat screen TV that is right above our table, I think it will be nice to see the news...strike three. So about half way through dinner I notice Mike getting paler and paler, with a napkin he wipes the sweat from his brow. I ask him if he's okay and he replies, "The sooner we get out of here the better." I assume he is refering to the circus act our children are putting on for the rest of the diners. First thing Owen says is: "I've got to go to the bathroom, by myself." Oh, crap he noticed the arcade at the back. It doesn't help the the staff gives each kid two tokens. Like two tokens is ever enough for a seven year old. I guess its a good strategy on their part. We finally get everyone something to eat and I get to go and get something for myself--mothers are always last. I come back to see Molly trying to summersaults on the "soft" bench. I quickly tell her to stop only to watch in horror as she leaps to the back of the bench and reaches over...saying "hi". The nice looking couple quickly try to move away. I guess it might of helped if she didn't have pizza sauce covering her hands, face, and arms. Just when you think that the worst is over you try to stop Frans from fighting with Owen or was it Mikaydi--not sure couldn't really see through the flying pizza remains. I am just praying at this point that one doesn't stick to the TV right above us. Its no wonder I never over eat at a buffet with my kids--after one trip to the pizza bar we have to leave before the people around us call child protective the look in Mike's eyes they would too. In fact maybe I should right a new diet book about taking five kids with you to eat everywhere--its almost like a workout. Then finally to top the evening off you run into someone you haven't seen in years. As they take in your rumpled now pizza stained clothes, your wild curly hair and smudged make up (if your lucky enough to not actually have mascara running down your cheeks) they look at you as if you need to be in a straight jacket. On the drive home Mike says, "That wasn't too bad, we should do that more often!"

Hats off to Molly

Molly is doing very well at potty training for the last two weeks!! We haven't had to listen to her say, "Mikaydi did it!" In response to our question, "Did you pooh your pants?" We tried not to laugh at her blaming her sister but she said it with such seriousness that it was very difficult not to crack a smile. We may have a potty trained cumpulisive liar on our hands now...but hey no poop to clean up so maybe its not such a bad trade off. I believe I can say we have a potty trained girl and we made it by her 3rd birthday which is on the 12th! Hats off to Molly!

Wednesday, September 26, 2007

What's that smell?

My husband has been having these stomach issues. I am not surprised as he has had anxiety ever since we've been married (hum...I hope that doesn't say anything about me). A couple of years ago he went to an internalist (I think that's what their called) and had a scope done. After two different scopes and $3000 we were told to take over the counter prilosec and good luck. Some how we think after all that we should at least get all the doctor's free samples--no luck. So he's had these stomach issues for awhile and they come and go. For the last week or so its been a problem once again. I can tell we are heading for a rough week when he rips a big burp. Perhaps its a small clue as you can almost see the purple mist expelled from his mouth. Shrek has nothing on fact I think he could out do Shrek. If by some chance I ever become blind then I still will be able to know because of the smell we refere to the "rotton egg" belches. If I am not careful and do not grab my emergency gas mask I will start a violent round of throwing up. I am worried that one of these days I will die from gas poisoning. I always laugh when Frans comes in the room and says, "What's that smell?" If that wasn't bad enough the second week of the rot gut comes along. This hits you when you lest expect it. I will be walking through the room--my husband of course acting as if nothing is wrong. When I seem to walk through a mist of darkness--it is thick and the worst possible smell you can think of. If that is what hell is like I definitely don't want to be there. Maybe we should bottle this smell and put into the air vents of the prisons. I think we would have a lot less criminals. I have to say (and I have changed a lot of dirty diapers and gross things my kids have done) this is at the top of my list of bad smells. My husband laughs and thinks its funny...BOYS! I have to say I grew up with a mother that tried hard to make me a southern bell--you know all that's proper and such. I didn't even know how to burp until I got married. I think next time I will just make a habit of sending Frans in first so he can warn me with..."What's that smell?"

Sunday, September 23, 2007

Popcorn and ears don't mix!

I sitting in my room feeling like I'm going to puke (No, not pregnant...just sick) and I hear this crying or should I say screaming. I don't really know what is going on so I come out of my room to try and find out what catastrophe has struck. I discover that Frans has some sort of problem. Now he is upset and he has speech problems so trying to figure out what is wrong sometimes is a trick. After doing several minutes of charades followed by naming different parts of his body that could be in pain I finally discover that something is wrong with his ear. I look into his ear canal to see a popcorn seed ( or is it called kernal?). Being sick and not wanting to go to the ER I decide to try and get it out myself. I try using some tweesers to pull it out, with no success. Still not wanting to go to the ER and wait 3 hrs, I call my doctor's wife's cell phone. They happen to be at church or some such gathering---of course my doctor knowing that we provide such a nice income with all five children meets me at his office. Even though I have to drive fourty-five minutes to his office it beats having to sit in the ER for several hours. I did find out that Frans was probably doing it to impress his brother. He put it in then would let it fall out, then put it back again. Only it got caught and when he tried to get it out himself he just jammed it further into his ear. Frans, Frans, Frans when will you learn that popcorn and ears don't mix!

Thursday, September 20, 2007

My Husband's Folly

I'm getting ready for church and my husband comes into the bathroom (where I am putting on my make up). He is almost all ready to go himself and he turns to watch me for a minute (I know this because I can see him in the mirror). Finally, he says "What's wrong with your eye?" Me, being a woman, says in a shrilly voice, "What do you mean?" He pauses for a moment then says, "You've got this Spok eye thing going on." As you know women never panick when their husbands say they have Spok eyes so as calmly as possible I turn to look into the mirror. Seeing nothing unusual I question again, "What do you mean?" A visible fear begins to come across his face as he begins to realizes he made a major tabu in husband world. He mumbles something unintelligable as he tries to back out of the bathroom door. He tries to distract me by saying, "Uh...we're going to be late." I being completely calm, after all I do have Spok eyes, say "I am NOT going anywhere tell you tell me what is wrong with my eyes." He visibly starts to shake and wipes his brow--now he definitely knows he's in deep trouble. He tries desprately to make it better by saying, "I think it was the mirror and my angle at seeing you." The immediate thought that came to my mind was : 'Oh, please!!' But being completely calm and reasonable I say, "What is wrong with my eyes?" For once in his life he is relieved to be saved by a last minute dirty diaper. I force myself to forget, for the moment, about the Spok eye comment and attend church. Later that afternoon, my husband thinking he is out of trouble, begins some innocent conversation about Star Trek. I immediately say, "What did you mean about Spok eyes?" I would have continued the conversation except the look of complete fear that crossed his face was so funny that I laughed. Hey husbands rule number one should be do not tell your wife that something is wrong with her face, clothes, or body 5 minutes before you should be leaving to go somewhere--you will be late.

Saturday, September 15, 2007

Can't figure it out...

Okay I have been trying for two days to attach a picture to my blog. Apparently I don't have a good enough computer or internet beacuse the pop up window does not work for me. I think later I will have to go to my friend's house and use her DSL. Isn't it great that I live in an area that DSL is not offered to me but I can drive a mile down the road and they get it. I guess that's the price you pay for rural living. I would like to get wireless but my husband says we need a new computer first so until we can earn enough money for a new computer I guess I have to live in the dark ages with dial up. So that's all for today or until I can at least get somewhere to get some picts on.

Missionary Parents

Okay, my parents are on a mission in Moscow, Russia. This is the reason I have started the blog. I hope this is a good way for them to see pictures and hear what is going on in our daily lives. I have to say that I am surviving okay without them if you consider banging your head against the wall every other day survival. My mom has always been one of my best friends and not talking to her daily has been a chore for me. I have had to learn to be more independant--people tell me that's good because I have five children. Personally, I think its bad because I have five children. Since my mom would come and babysit some of the time (and now she is half way around the world) I have had to tell the PTA that I won't be helping much this year. Some how being independent also means not volunteering for me. It doesn't help much that one of my best friends is pregnant with a baby and has to take it easy. It has been an interesting experience for the kids as well. Molly now gets on the phone and the first thing she says is "Hi Papa!" it doesn't matter who it is. We don't get to talk to them very often as the calls are so expensive. I miss dad's humor and his motivating me on my exercise. I know that they are doing good and that makes it a little easier. So here's three cheers for the missionaries--Hip-hip-hooray (x3)!

3rd Child Blues

Okay so this is Frans the third child. Now Frans is a great kid. Frans's only delima is when he
gets the 3rd child blues. This is a problem that
only occurs with the 3rd child. He has two older

siblings that try to tell him what to do and how to do it. Now he exhibits great restraint and patience for -oh about two seconds before the beginings of a meltdown. First, he begins by beliving whatever is being said. For example, a about a month ago he cut his hair. His older brother being the wisest around said, "Oh, no your hair's not going to grow back. You're going to be bald like daddy!" Frans taking this wise council into concideration then begins to think of solutions. As his older brother keeps taunting him with the facts of hair cutting--he begins to cry. The crying only gets louder and louder. Mom not knowing what is occuring runs into the bathroom to witness Frans in the middle of a complete meltdown. He wants her to glue it back on. Mom being the kind soul she is hides a snicker. After he tells her to tape his hair back on, Mom can't hold the laughter anymore and starts to chuckle. Frans, being the 3rd child and not liked being laughed at, storms out the door and hides. Mom soon finds him and discovers what has occured between the boys. If this were the only time things like this occured 3rd children would probably not get the third child blues, however, since his siblings never tire of teasing he continues to have these episodes. (By the way this is when Frans is visiting the dairy down the of the few times he was able to go with just daddy--and the other pre-schoolers)


Frans and his friend Bode have these swimsuits that are exactly alike. Frans loves to hang out with Bode. When Bode comes its like they almost disappear. The only time I hear from them is when they want to eat or when they beat up Molly. Molly thinks this is totally unfair as she want to tag a long and play too. Having two younger sisters must be the trial of Frans' young life. We read books in the afternoon and he is obessed with the book called No Girls Allowed a Bearstein Bear book. Then several days after that Frans was obessed with putting signs on his doors saying "No girls allowed". He would run to his room point to the sign and shut the door in Molly's face. I waited for him to forget about it. I knew that we were in trouble though when he saw that I put some lettering on the wall in the girl's room and he asked that I make the "no girls allowed" sign in the same letting for his door. I sat him down and said Frans remember at the end of the book that the girls and boys end up having a clubhouse together and play together. He looks at me and says, "I don't like that ending at all!" Apparently sisters are a trying experience for him.

Thursday, September 13, 2007

Press Forward Potty Training

Okay well I guess I am going to try this blog thing. Maybe I'm a crowd follower after all? I just have to say--TOILET TRAINING! I am sure all of you other mothers are nodding your heads and having a moment of silence for me at this moment. Yes my child is almost 3 and we are in the depths of potty training heck. Its not like I haven't potty trained kids before either--I have done it three previous times. I guess this time my child decided to teach me that I really know absolutely nothing about potty training. She is the drama queen of our lives and it has now extended to the toilet. IF she goes potty we have to have a party for her. If she doesn't make it, well, lets just say we are in the depths of despare with her. We started trying to throw underware away if she messed as this worked really well with two of my boys. Molly is definitely different. With the boys they didn't want their "Buzz lightyear underwear" going in the trash so it only took one pair to go to the garbage and that was the end of it. Molly on the other hand doesn't care if its Tinkerbell or Dora (which she loves) she'll throw them away for you. I wonder if it comes down to her name after all her middle initial is "P". I bet thats really the problem, I'm sure its all my fault and will be my fault for years to come. Yes, I am realizing its always the parents fault. It doesn't matter that we see the child doing the funky monkey potty dance and you ask them three times if they have to go potty--its still our fault for not taking the bull by the horns and making them go potty. At least she's out of the pooh flinging stage. That would be way worse. So I look to the positive and press forward with the potty training.