A True Dinning Experience

Here's a picture of our five little kiddy kats! Now picture taking all five out to dinner and not at McDonalds. Everyone once in awhile my husband and I decide that we should take our children to a nicer place to eat. We tell ourselves its because they need to learn to handle themselves somewhere besides McDonalds or Burger King. I personally think it's because Mike, husband, doesn't like McDonalds and want's something else. Last Friday we decided to take them to a pizza buffet. We get there and I run in to check prices before allowing the kids to get out of the car. We decide its reasonable enough as the youngest two are free--HURRAH!Before we go in Mike tells them, "No running, no jumping around, you can't go get your food yourself..." I tune half of it out as I think--yeah, right. I glance back at the kids and see their glazed over expressions and realize that they too don't have a clue as to what he has said or they hear...blah blah blah. Kind of like Charlie Brown listening to his teacher. After Mike's sermon on how we all should act...including me (I need to help the kids...we can't let them run...don't let them crawl over the bench...) and I wonder "he must think that I don't help him at all." Its not like I don't take the kids everywhere I go...shopping...haircuts...dentist appointments...you name they are with me 24-7. Bless his heart for being nieve enough to think that the kids will actually listen to him and not go beserk as soon as they enter the restaraunt. Anyway we go into the pizza place and discover soon after we pay that they have an arcade type place in back...strike one. Then looking around we find a booth large enough for our brood and sit there. I barely noticed the nice looking couple (I think the guy was prettier than the gal) on a date right behind us...strike two. I also take a minute to notice the flat screen TV that is right above our table, I think it will be nice to see the news...strike three. So about half way through dinner I notice Mike getting paler and paler, with a napkin he wipes the sweat from his brow. I ask him if he's okay and he replies, "The sooner we get out of here the better." I assume he is refering to the circus act our children are putting on for the rest of the diners. First thing Owen says is: "I've got to go to the bathroom, by myself." Oh, crap he noticed the arcade at the back. It doesn't help the the staff gives each kid two tokens. Like two tokens is ever enough for a seven year old. I guess its a good strategy on their part. We finally get everyone something to eat and I get to go and get something for myself--mothers are always last. I come back to see Molly trying to summersaults on the "soft" bench. I quickly tell her to stop only to watch in horror as she leaps to the back of the bench and reaches over...saying "hi". The nice looking couple quickly try to move away. I guess it might of helped if she didn't have pizza sauce covering her hands, face, and arms. Just when you think that the worst is over you try to stop Frans from fighting with Owen or was it Mikaydi--not sure couldn't really see through the flying pizza remains. I am just praying at this point that one doesn't stick to the TV right above us. Its no wonder I never over eat at a buffet with my kids--after one trip to the pizza bar we have to leave before the people around us call child protective services...by the look in Mike's eyes they would too. In fact maybe I should right a new diet book about taking five kids with you to eat everywhere--its almost like a workout. Then finally to top the evening off you run into someone you haven't seen in years. As they take in your rumpled now pizza stained clothes, your wild curly hair and smudged make up (if your lucky enough to not actually have mascara running down your cheeks) they look at you as if you need to be in a straight jacket. On the drive home Mike says, "That wasn't too bad, we should do that more often!"